Net wt. 0 oz. It’s a shirt.

Snarky Parents

Part of a complete breakdown!

Shirts for parents raising kids who say “bruh” at breakfast. Coming soon. Not actually cereal.

A black T-shirt bursting out of a bowl of fruit-ring cereal in a splash of milk.

My name
is not
bruh.

New! Now with 0% skibidi

Serving suggestion. Concept mockup, enlarged to show attitude.

Free inside: the launch list

One e-mail, when the shirts exist. No box tops required.

Snarky Facts

Serving size 1 tired parent

Servings per household never enough

Amount per eye roll
Ingredient% Daily Value*
Sarcasm 12g100%
Patience 0g0%
Coffee, reheated 3 cups300%
Coffee, finished 0 cups0%
“Because I said so” 47mg98%
Knowledge of skibidi 0g0%

*Percent Daily Values are based on a diet of 2,000 sighs. Your values may be higher depending on how many kids you have.

Ingredients

Sarcasm, whole grain exhaustion, cold coffee, enriched “because I said so,” natural and artificial patience, minivan crumbs, dad jokes (for color). Contains: opinions. May contain traces of the person you were in 1999. Low-key tired. High-key still asking what “six-seven” means.

Directions

  1. Put on shirt.
  2. Stand near your child’s friends.
  3. Say “rizz” out loud. POV: their friends heard you.
  4. Enjoy the silence.

Snarky Parents is a shirt company that hasn’t opened yet. Everything on this box is a concept: no prices, nothing for sale, one coupon.

Back-of-the-box fun!

Match each kid word to what it means. Use a crayon. Stay inside the lines.

Pick a word, then pick what it means.

0 of 10 matched

Answer key (printed right side up, for your eyes)
Rizz
Charm. In 1996 we said “game.”
No cap
Not lying. We said “for real.”
Bussin
Really good. We said “da bomb.”
Skibidi
Nobody knows. We said “zoinks,” maybe.
Sigma
A cool loner. We said “too cool for school.”
Aura
Cool points. We said “street cred.”
Delulu
Delusional. We said “as if!”
Six-seven
Nothing. We said “not!”
POV
Point of view. We said “picture this.”
Low-key
Kind of, or secretly. We said “on the down low.”

Collect all six!

Each sold separately. Technically, none sold at all: these are concept mockups, nothing is for sale yet, and no prices have been set.

  1. I wasCrashingoutbefore it
    had a name.

    The Original

    Est. the first time you missed the bus.

  2. I had rizz.
    Then I
    had you.

    The Origin Story

    Technically true.

  3. My name
    is not
    bruh.

    The Correction

    Wear daily until it sticks.

  4. Bet.
    (I don’t know what
    I agreed to.)

    The Contract

    Signed without reading. Again.

  5. Be kind.
    Rewind.
    Also unload
    the dishwasher.

    The Rental Agreement

    They don’t know what rewinding is. Explain nothing.

  6. Ghosted
    by my
    own kid.
    From
    upstairs.

    The Read Receipt

    Same house. Same wifi. No reply.

Mail-in offer

Send no money. Send no box tops. Send one e-mail address and we’ll write you once, when the shirts exist.

  • Nothing is for sale yet.
  • Offer good while your patience lasts.
  • Void where prohibited by your teenager.